Bryan came to know this. He knew Jesus as his friend and was so glad to know Jesus did not abandon him when he made bad choices. He testified if you messed up plan A for your life, God had a plan B, and C and D and all the way to Z and He would start over if He needed. The plan is His unfailing love to see you through to the end. To bless your life. To have you learn of His love so deeply, you can not help but let it flow out of your own life to others. You end up with a testimony down in your bones of knowing that you know, that you know, that you know, His love and what God has done for you! And you testify! And your testimony is anointed! God will use it to touch a heart in the deepest way. It is the most amazing thing! God can take one testimony and speak to 100 people in a hundred different ways, all because He knows you and wants to love and encourage you!
Back to endless possibilities. I know life throws us curve balls. I do, trust me. But life is still good. It all comes down to living from the inside out. You know, we don't have to let the world frantic our mind. We can tell our mind how to react. YOU can choose how to react. Always. I am not talking about rolling with the punches if you are in an abusive relationship or something. Get help. I am talking for the crazy things life throws at us, we don't have to take the stress of it. We do have a Prince of Peace. This is not a thing you learn one day and then go, "Oh, I've got it." It is a daily choice to live from the inside out. You were created to live life, to see and enjoy it and be thankful. The devil would throw distractions by the tons to keep you from enjoying it. Train your mind to ignore them and to see the life God gave you. If your son was hit by a car.... guess what, Life is still good and precious and people are precious. Flowers are still lovely to smell and food still taste good. God gives us little treasures that are our life. We can't live if we are looking at the sadness or the problem.
Dream with God. Any Anger you have.... just tell Him and ask Him to help you deal with it. That is a crazy battle I hate. I absolutely hate! When I was mad at my husband for not being there when I needed him after Bryan's accident, I did not get rid of that anger in a flash. i do think God can do that. I know He can. But in my case, He let me go on a journey of forgiveness. One I confessed I was on, but one my heart did not match up with my mouth right away. But I said it just the same and went on that journey one prayer at a time. I knew I could not give into the anger because I would be bitter and I did not know if I knew how to find my way back from bitter. I had had enough things go terribly wrong in my life they would likely all pile up together and kill me. Kill my soul. Kill this little light of mine I was so determined to let shine. Seeds of the Holy Ghost down in my heart as a child. I did not want to lose that peace and glorious light. In all honesty, I know He would have delivered me from that place, but on my darkest nights, it was a lonely path I did not want to go on. I could not let my heart go there. So I kept praying for God to help me with my anger. You know what, I still pray the prayer when the enemy brings to my remembrance something that really upset me. Some people say if you have forgive you forget. Hog wash. Praise the Lord if that works for them, but is sure is not the case for me. I have lots of wrongs in my life the devil loves to remind me of and my battle strategy is to look all the harder at the blessings and ask God to help me with what I am upset about. The more the battle, the more I lean into God. One day maybe the enemy will realize it only puts me deeper in God the more he attacks. This is your safe place my beloved friends. Taking everything to God. Everything. Your own self doubts even. You feeling like He could not love you. Maybe you think you have made too many mistakes? Take everything to Him and tell Him you are mad, discouraged, don't know how to forgive, don't want to forgive, want to bonk your neighbor over the head! You get it..... we are real people with real moods and the enemy targets us there. Just keep taking all your troubles to the Lord and asking Him to help you live life. Ask Him to remind you to take the time to look at the trees and the skies and into the eye of your loved ones. SEE them. Especially your kids, SEE them.
My loneliest nights were in the first couple years of Bryan's accident. I was so hurt my husband was not there. My hurt turned into anger. Then I don't know what I would call what it turned into, other than I found myself in a desert not knowing how to get out of it. I was mad. I had a right to be. I am not justifying my thoughts. it was just fact, I had a right to be. But it paralyzed me. My heart was so heavy. God gave me grace to still praise Him. He gave me grace to take care of Bryan all the unimaginable hours that it took without help. My daughter helped what she could, but it only let me sleep around 3 solid hours... almost solid. I slept on the couch beside Bryan's bed, which was in the living room, while my grand kids got ready for school in the morning. But still, It was at least a chunk of sleep! I have stayed up all night through the wee hours into the morning for over 6 years now. I enjoy the quiet now. Back then, I was in the desert, in the dark, and often felt all alone. I cried when I needed to. Mostly I tried not to, because it hurt so bad. I knew once I started, I would feel my heart break. Two big guns aimed at me. My Son wounded in his bed and my husband not there to help or comfort me. I began to hate him. That is a horrible, horrible word and emotion. I believe our enemy is not flesh and blood but spiritual wickedness in high places. Words spoken that hurt, they don't often even know they did that. But as much as I know this, it was hard to love my husband anymore. I think I need to tell more of that story to help those that are trying to live through the healing of a relationship. For now, i will tell you. The only thing that worked for me, was to keep asking God to help me. I told Him I was sorry for feeling this horrible nasty way, but I could not help it. I told Him this over and over instead of dwelling on the pain and feeding it and making it bigger than I could have ever handled, I just told God how much it hurt me and asked Him to heal me and help me love. As I said, I still pray this prayer over all my hurts. Hurts are real. We need to do something with them right away and continually so they don't poison you like the enemy intends. Take them all to God, over and over, every day, every minute if you have to. His peace will begin to cover that hurt and heal it. It will. I can testify to that. Does not mean it will never come back up again, the hurt, but we can give it right back to God again. He is our Deliverer. Yes?! He is our Peace! He is our friend. He knows all the struggles you are going through. It is not like you have to pretend you are not that mad or don't have that nasty mean thought in your head. He knows. He loves you and is not shocked about it. He will help you get rid of it and give peace in it's place.
Real life has real problems. I have friends who have had strokes, just now even. Friends who have cancer. Friends who lost their jobs. Friends who have kids they worry about. Life is really hard sometimes, but is is always beautiful. I can not live if I look at my problems. I would die inside. I look at love and live from His love on the inside. And when I forget this, I get very stressed and tired. Every single day we get to choose how we live. We are not alone. Sometimes, I take just a minute to look at the leaves on the trees and know, there is God. I hear the birds and I hear His love. I see a person struggling, especially with cancer, and I get so mad at the enemy and the sickness in the world, but know it is still a good world. I pray for healing for all the pain I see. I have great hope in that even if the healing I prayed for does not manifest, God is still there and the bad thing is not of Him. We live in a fallen world where we do have sickness and troubles. One day.... we will not. In Heaven, there will be no more pain or tears or suffering. While we are here on Earth, there will be. But life is still good and beautiful. To look at the goodness and beauty on purpose, will bless your soul. I know this. I see all the endless possibilities. For my life. For Bryan's. For my Family. For my friends. For the Church. For all the plans the enemy tried to ruin, it is never too late! The possibilities are endless. Your life has endless good things meant for it. I don't care what the enemy tried to do to derail you. God will make it right.
I hope this story helps someone. Keep giving ALL your troubles, doubts, fears, plans, anger, hopes, dreams to the Lord. Share your whole life with Him. He wants you to and He wants to help you with it. My favorite prayer ever is this, "Lord, help me with my life." I pray it all the time. Especially when I start to feel sad, mad and overwhelmed. Hang in there! Help is not only coming, He is already there!
I hope to write more soon. I have not had much time to write or paint until just recently. I got a couple paintings done. Unfortunately, as soon as I had time, one of Bryan's caretakers had a stroke. It may be a little while until I can paint and write again as much as I would like to. In the meanwhile, thank you for praying for us for the help we need and for his caretakers health as well. Looking back over my Art album and Art page on Facebook, I have to say I am amazed at all I did get done! I thank the Lord He helped me to do all that! My most recent painting is titled Songs Of Deliverance and is one of my most favorite pieces ever! It is at bottom of page. Anywhere you see me mentioning my name and Prophetic Artist, it is not because I am bragging. It is because it will help me raise money for missions because it will cause my name and Art to comes up in google searches. So Thank you for understanding that. I am just thankful to paint and share God's love. I would never want to seem like I was bragging about it!
God bless you! Thank you so much for your love and prayers for us. If you want to follow us on facebook and read more of Bryan's stories, older ones are on this Lion post. Part one, my testimony and what happened to Bryan is on the lion and more stories on other pics. To be notified of when I share new art or stories, click the like button on my page and then from that same button, select get notifications. Facebook only circulates to a small percent so doing this ensures you see future post. This week as I celebrate Bryan's Birthday, all items in store are on sale for 20% off. code is GodBlessBryan and on His Birthday, July 28th, the print, "He Is Mighty To Save", is 50% off July 27/28, coupon code is HappyBirthdayBryan. I just wanted to celebrate his birthday with you! Here is the link to his stories on Facebook. Thanks for looking! God bless you!