I joined because I wanted to be near Mike.
The moment I learned I was pregnant, all I wanted was to be a mom.
🤎
The moment I learned I was pregnant, all I wanted was to be a mom.
🤎
I thought I had it all figured out.
It came time for vacation, and I went back to visit my mom and see Mike at Thanksgiving time.
After seeing him again, I really didn’t want to leave. That’s when I came up with the story that I was joining the military so they would pay for my college. It would keep me from facing my dad’s wrath for not going to Florida State right away, but the real reason I was joining was to get back with Mike.
I figured I could pick out a station near him because he was stationed at Oceana in Virginia Beach, and there were other naval stations nearby that I could put on my wish list. I really thought out of the three that you get to pick, you’d get one of them. But then I was told they’re just a wish list—if you’re lucky, you get one, but they’re going to send you wherever they want to, and I didn’t want to go away from Mike.
These were all plans made to just be near Mike, and at the time I was making them, neither one of us fully thought it through. After I had already enrolled and gone to Jacksonville, Florida, where they do their enrollment—where you get all your vaccinations and get ready to go, where you enlist basically—I was told I had already signed my life away in the military.
My father had mixed emotions. I think he kind of liked the idea that I was going into the military. For some reason, I think he was a little bit proud of that, and I also think there might’ve been part of him that liked the idea that he wouldn’t have to pay for a whole tuition, especially since he had already put off me going to school so that he only had to pay for an in-state tuition instead of an out-of-state. But honestly, it was just my way of getting near Mike.
And then the reality set in that I might not get to be near Mike anyway, and they could send me to Greenland or wherever they wanted to. This is when we decided if I got pregnant, I would get out of it—it was the only way to get out of it, that’s what Mike said, and that’s what all of his friends in the military said. So that’s what we tried to do. When I got my period, I assumed our plan hadn’t worked, so I had to go off and join the military.
I actually really liked it, and during that time I felt very accomplished and proud. I can’t quite describe it. There was just something about being in the military and serving your country that made you feel good. I was really proud of myself, and I started seeing it as a career. I did really well in Boot Camp, too, because Mike and his military friends had already prepared me for what to expect. They’re pretty rough on you, but I was told it was all a head game, and they told me how to deal with it, so I did pretty good.
I saw a lot of people who didn’t do as well. In fact, a lot of people turned to me for support, and I helped them calm down a little bit. Some of them were young like me, but although I was young, I’d been through a lot, so I wasn’t as tender as some of them. They were crying themselves to sleep at night, so I just helped.
We had some people who kept getting us in trouble, and our company commander (CC) made us get up and do our PT at like four in the morning instead of six in the morning like the rest of them, and it was grueling PT! Those obstacle courses you see on TV that they do—that’s for real, you do some pretty rough stuff.
And I was getting sick, so I went to the nurse’s office. Before she even ran the test, she said I’m about 90 percent sure, you’re pregnant. Test was positive 😮
I was told I could stay in, but I had to have an abortion, and there was no way I was going to have an abortion. And then they said, “Well, you can have the kid and then come back,” and I was like, there’s no way I’m gonna have a kid and come back in the military. Although there was a part of me that was really sad because I really was proud and happy to be in the military, the moment I found out that I was pregnant, my entire life changed. All I wanted to do was be a mom. That was the most important thing to me in the world to me.
And I was going to be a good mom, and I was going to build a good life. Being a mom was the only thing at that moment that mattered—a mom and a family. I was going to be a good wife, too. I wanted a good family. I wanted what I thought was wholesome, not what I had seen and what I grew up in. I never wanted my child to have to go through that. What I envisioned was a family like Leave it to Beaver—that was a TV show that I loved as a kid, and it’s what I thought a normal family should be and what they should look like, and that’s what I wanted to have. Becoming a mom and having a family was the only thing I cared about from that point on.
And then after that discovery, I had to sit there in the barracks for almost three weeks until I got discharged, because they make you get all this paperwork signed and you have to meet this person and that person—it was crazy just to get out. When I finally did get out, I took my discharge paycheck and bought my wedding dress.
🤎
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About Pam Herrick
Gallery
The Girl Who Chased Horses
(Ongoing Book)
After seeing him again, I really didn’t want to leave. That’s when I came up with the story that I was joining the military so they would pay for my college. It would keep me from facing my dad’s wrath for not going to Florida State right away, but the real reason I was joining was to get back with Mike.
I figured I could pick out a station near him because he was stationed at Oceana in Virginia Beach, and there were other naval stations nearby that I could put on my wish list. I really thought out of the three that you get to pick, you’d get one of them. But then I was told they’re just a wish list—if you’re lucky, you get one, but they’re going to send you wherever they want to, and I didn’t want to go away from Mike.
These were all plans made to just be near Mike, and at the time I was making them, neither one of us fully thought it through. After I had already enrolled and gone to Jacksonville, Florida, where they do their enrollment—where you get all your vaccinations and get ready to go, where you enlist basically—I was told I had already signed my life away in the military.
My father had mixed emotions. I think he kind of liked the idea that I was going into the military. For some reason, I think he was a little bit proud of that, and I also think there might’ve been part of him that liked the idea that he wouldn’t have to pay for a whole tuition, especially since he had already put off me going to school so that he only had to pay for an in-state tuition instead of an out-of-state. But honestly, it was just my way of getting near Mike.
And then the reality set in that I might not get to be near Mike anyway, and they could send me to Greenland or wherever they wanted to. This is when we decided if I got pregnant, I would get out of it—it was the only way to get out of it, that’s what Mike said, and that’s what all of his friends in the military said. So that’s what we tried to do. When I got my period, I assumed our plan hadn’t worked, so I had to go off and join the military.
I actually really liked it, and during that time I felt very accomplished and proud. I can’t quite describe it. There was just something about being in the military and serving your country that made you feel good. I was really proud of myself, and I started seeing it as a career. I did really well in Boot Camp, too, because Mike and his military friends had already prepared me for what to expect. They’re pretty rough on you, but I was told it was all a head game, and they told me how to deal with it, so I did pretty good.
I saw a lot of people who didn’t do as well. In fact, a lot of people turned to me for support, and I helped them calm down a little bit. Some of them were young like me, but although I was young, I’d been through a lot, so I wasn’t as tender as some of them. They were crying themselves to sleep at night, so I just helped.
We had some people who kept getting us in trouble, and our company commander (CC) made us get up and do our PT at like four in the morning instead of six in the morning like the rest of them, and it was grueling PT! Those obstacle courses you see on TV that they do—that’s for real, you do some pretty rough stuff.
And I was getting sick, so I went to the nurse’s office. Before she even ran the test, she said I’m about 90 percent sure, you’re pregnant. Test was positive 😮
I was told I could stay in, but I had to have an abortion, and there was no way I was going to have an abortion. And then they said, “Well, you can have the kid and then come back,” and I was like, there’s no way I’m gonna have a kid and come back in the military. Although there was a part of me that was really sad because I really was proud and happy to be in the military, the moment I found out that I was pregnant, my entire life changed. All I wanted to do was be a mom. That was the most important thing to me in the world to me.
And I was going to be a good mom, and I was going to build a good life. Being a mom was the only thing at that moment that mattered—a mom and a family. I was going to be a good wife, too. I wanted a good family. I wanted what I thought was wholesome, not what I had seen and what I grew up in. I never wanted my child to have to go through that. What I envisioned was a family like Leave it to Beaver—that was a TV show that I loved as a kid, and it’s what I thought a normal family should be and what they should look like, and that’s what I wanted to have. Becoming a mom and having a family was the only thing I cared about from that point on.
And then after that discovery, I had to sit there in the barracks for almost three weeks until I got discharged, because they make you get all this paperwork signed and you have to meet this person and that person—it was crazy just to get out. When I finally did get out, I took my discharge paycheck and bought my wedding dress.
🤎
EXPLORE MORE
About Pam Herrick
Gallery
The Girl Who Chased Horses
(Ongoing Book)
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