​🌿 His Calm — One Candle at a Time

For sixteen and a half years now, Bryan and I have lived most of our life inside one small space — his bedroom, tucked right in the middle of our kitchen and living room. People sometimes look at our life and feel sorry for us. They see limitation. They see sacrifice. They see walls and caretaking and constant need.

But that’s not what I see.

I see a sanctuary.

I see a place where God’s love has taken root and grown deep.

I see a boy — now a man — whose presence has softened my heart in ways nothing else on earth could.

And I see grace. Quiet, steady grace… like a candle that refuses to go out.

--

The world became smaller — but my heart grew wider

There was a time when I traveled all over the country. I drove an 18-wheeler cross-country and shared God’s love with people wherever He led me. Later, Bryan dreamed of traveling the world as a missionary. We both carried that same calling:

Love whoever God puts in front of you — gently, genuinely, and without pressure.

Then our world changed. My life became centered around caring for Bryan. And instead of highways and airports and church gatherings…

…it became hospital rooms
…and quiet nights
…and prayers whispered in the dark.

Many would say my world shrank.

But I discovered something holy:

Love doesn’t need distance to travel.
It only needs a willing heart.

And God never stopped loving people through us.
He simply changed the way that love flows.

--

Art became the doorway

There was a time I wondered how I could keep sharing God’s love if I couldn’t travel anymore. I missed it deeply.

But slowly — quietly — another doorway opened:

🎨 Art.

I never set out to build an audience. I simply painted what my heart felt — hope, comfort, light, closeness with God. And people began to respond. They felt peace. They felt seen. They felt something sacred whisper through the colors.

And then I realized something beautiful:

🕯 Each painting is like lighting one more candle in the dark.

Only now, instead of standing on sidewalks or crossing highways…

the light travels through screens, walls, homes --
and hearts.

Love had found a new way to move.

--

Bryan’s light still shines

Someone once told me:

“Bryan is still changing the world — through you.”

And I believe it.

Every brushstroke carries a piece of the journey we’ve walked together — the tears, prayers, grace, and tenderness God has grown inside us.

Bryan’s life has never been small.

It has been deep.

And depth changes people.

--

His Calm

This Lion painting is called “His Calm.”

Because the calm of God is not fragile.
It doesn’t waver when storms rise.
It isn’t threatened by darkness or chaos.

His calm is stronger than the storm.

And when I paint — I feel that calm rise up inside me, the same calm that has carried me through years of caregiving, love, trust, and surrender.

We still pray for a miracle.
We still hope.
And even while we wait…

It is well with our souls.

If our story — or this art — helps even one heart feel God’s love wrap gently around them when life hurts…

then I am grateful.

Because this is how the light spreads now --

🕯 one candle at a time.

From our small room into the wide world --
carrying the same love that has carried us.

💛
Pam & Bryan

I’m here to say I know life can be hard sometimes. Really hard. No one can judge or truly understand another’s battles. The only one that knows is you and God. And there are all kinds of scriptures that tell you how much He loves you. Sometimes it’s just hard to believe. That’s the enemy trying to seperate you from the love of God. It’s just lies. Don’t worry, God will never turn His back on you. Not ever! Wrap your head around that.

​See God as someone who has waited for you all His life. Because He did! He is so in love with you! John 3:16 loosely translated, God so loved the world (you) that He gave His only son to to be sacrificed as a lamb (behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world), so you could be saved. Made right with God - meaning no guilt. No shame. Your slate is wiped clean. 

Sometimes maybe we don’t feel worthy. Maybe the enemy beat us down so low it’s hard to believe in anything anymore. If you are in that place. Stop, take a long deep breath, longer… that breath is God’s love filling you, hold it in a little. Breathe out the hurt.  And the next breath, you knowing you are worthy of love, let His love in deeper in your heart.  Breath out the shame that was not yours.  And the next breath a prayer as you are breathing in, “God help me receive Your peace.” And breathe out all the burdens you have carried. Now… live in His Love and know you are priceless. You are valuable. You are loved! 🥰 I love you, too! God bless you! 🌸🌿🕊️

Some of you know my story. If you don’t you can read it on my about page if you are interested. And the last couple blogs before this one explain some of the battles I have been in. I know about pain. I also know God deeply heals it and that is my prayer for you 🙏

For Art more often than I put on my website, please check out my YouTube channel Pam Herrick Art at 
www.youtube.com/@propheticart

You were meant for so much more! 

Ever wonder why your beauty is so attacked? Why the enemy seems to slip the rug right out from under you making you question yourself all the time? I mean, like all the time! Maybe you are one lucky ones with a super healthy self esteem. I wasn't. I want to share a little bit of my story but first I want to tell you, you are beautifully and fearfully made. A master creation from Lord God Almighty. The enemy hates you. Let's put that out there. He sees your beauty and will do anything he can to take it from you. Don't let him. What a liar he is. Please, the beauty God gave you is untouchable by the enemy. Let that rise up. Take a quiet time with God. Somewhere you will not be interrupted. Get out a sheet of paper and a pen. Bow your head and pray, "Lord, I am going to write myself a love letter from You. I ask you to let my pen flow with Your words. I promise I will write down what ever I hear in my heart. Even if it sounds extra extravagant. Because I know you Love me, but I need to hear words you have just for me." Important, get the pen and paper. You will want a couple extra pieces incase the words keep coming! Let me know what He says to you in the comments. I cried after I read mine. I was stunned actually. God is so good to us. Write that letter and listen to what God says. It will give you power to Ignore the enemy you hear in your mind. God's love is greater than any lie the enemy is trying to tell you! Let the Lion of the Tribe of Judah roar healing over you! Let Him blow off every lie. Until only you stand there, the way God meant you to be. His beautiful perfect creation He is proud of. That is who you are!

With all that said, I don't even want to share my story now. I've been through some stuff for sure. I will share more thoroughly later. For now just a tiny bit to show God's redeeming love. This will be brief, but  painful realities, realities that shaped mercy and grace. That shaped a heart that knows pain in others when I see it. I feel it instantly. I know those of you that have walked a similar path know what I am talking  about. And that part in you, that broken part, is where God is going to spill out onto others that so desperately need a healing touch from God. The enemy has beat them up so bad with lies. Let's let the love pour out so it can heal the broken hearted. God wants the broken hearted healed. He loves them. 

So my brief story, I'm 62 years old by the way, it's not brief, but I will make it that way. Just going to list my worst memories. Don't feel bad. God healed me of all them. 

1. My mother almost let me die because I drank furniture polish remover while she was not watching me. I was 18 months old. She fixed her hair and put make up on before she took me to the hospital. I almost died. I was in a coma. My grandparents were livid. The enemy was happy he almost killed me. 

2. I over heard my mother tell my father she wish I had never been born. I carried that weight as a small child. I was five years old. I never told her I heard that until I was a teenager. She denied it. Then in my twenties she admitted she said it but said I was being a difficult child that day. There was no apology, I was blamed for it. 

​3. My mother was a drug addict and alcoholic, and left me to do all the mothering to my siblings. Even at eight years old, she left me overnight alone with my infant sister and her friends 2 year old daughter to babysit. They paid me with candy bars. What you remember! I didn't mind all the mothering to my siblings because it allowed me to protect them from her. No one knew what went on back in those days. I don't even think my siblings knew fully. Thank God.

4. Drugs. It was the 70's. My mother was a drug dealer. Need I say more. I did drugs. But God..., I had a good youth pastor that didn't judge me. He would come and sit on the front steps and ask how I was doing. I turned my back on all the drugs. I would literally step over people passed out on the living room floor from Saturday night partying with my mother, so I could walk to church. My mother hated me for it. I made her look bad. I had seen enough of darkness. I didn't want it. I got saved. I wanted to be a missionary. I got married instead. Thinking I would build the beautiful life I had imagined. It didn't happen the way I intended 

5. I escaped my alcoholic narcissist mother to marry an alcoholic narcissistic husband. Don't worry. God is healing him, too. But I suffered literally decades of abuse. I was with him since I was 17 years old. I did divorce and remarry because he said he would stop drinking. I believed him. He didn't stop drinking after I remarried him. AND.... I did not know what narcissistic abuse was. I don't think that many people did back in those days. So I endured almost two more decades of abuse. Altogether 45 years. And by God's grace, there was still this little child's heart in me that believed things would change. That my husband would treat me right. All my life I was worried for the other persons happiness. Felt guilty if I thought of myself. I am healed from a lot of that now, still healing. But glory to God. I know my worth. 

6. Throw in there somewhere in the middle of number five. My precious son, the baby of the family was hit by two cars while walking. He survived. But has severe traumatic brain injury. He can't do anything for himself. That was May 23, 2009. He was 22 years old. Deep breath when ever I type that date. My husband left me soon after I brought Bryan home from the hospital. When I needed him the most. He does help me take care of him now though. And things are better. But there is a heaviness in my heart longing for my son's healing. Many people have prayed for him for years. With all that is going on in the world right now in regards to a revival like I have never seen, I am hopeful and my expectancy is stirred to see Bryan's miracle!

7. Worst of all, everything I love was stripped away from me slowly by the narcissistic abuse to the point I didn't even want to live. But on Mother's Day of this year, I learned what Narcissistic abuse is and all the lights went on. And I got my dignity back. I had a strong sense of self and the Love of God because of all He had carried me through, so there was still enough of a strong me in there somewhere. I was still there. If that makes sense. You tend to lose yourself after narcissistic abuse. That's that beautiful part in you that I am telling you to let rise up. It's there! God put it there. It's YOU!

8. I lost my art over the years. Always painting since I was little. About the time I would start again my heart would be too heavy from the things you endure with an alcoholic and a narcissist. I literally went decades without painting. I stopped decorating for Christmas. I stopped creating. I stopped dancing. I stopped all the beautiful things. And that darkness I hated so much was always grabbing at my worth and dignity. But God showed me me again. I'm going to be ok.

I'm painting again to share hope! To reach the broken hearted. To go right smack to those broken places and say, I see you! I've been there. I know how you are feeling. God is going to raise you up out of it! You are Loved! You are Safe! You are Held! You will shine again!

God bless you! And I love you!
​Pam

 Bryan's "Horse of Hope " painting I did for him over a decade ago. It was painted five years after he was hit by those two stupid cars. Bryan has been well, thank you for praying! For those that don't know Bryan, he's my son that was hit by two cars while walking. He suffered severe traumatic brain injury. We care for him at home. Although he can't do anything for himself, he's loved, well taken care of and ok. But Momma (Me), had been broken inside in utter diabolical depression, for lack of better words. I could barely brush my teeth. The only thing I had energy for was taking care of Bryan. I shut out the whole world for survival. I didn't keep in contact with anyone. My sincerest apologies, I just couldn't. I'm coming out of that fog now. I had also stopped painting. I am now painting again with a hope and a vengeance of epic proportion to reach the lost and hurting with the good news and gospel of Jesus Christ.  I pray there is an anointing on my art that you can see and feel the hope and love of God in. 
 
A long story short of how it came to be I fell into depression and hid away from the world started when my paralyzed brother came to live with us, and having to take care of him and Bryan, it was just too much. My brother on top of his demanding care had frontal lobe damage and would say the most heinous things. Pretty much demon inspired I'm sure. And then Bryan's step Father started drinking again. And my brother committed suicide. I just broke. I had already broken before my brother's suicide but that made it deeper. 

And on a very personal level, the depths of despair I had fallen into, was because of emotional abuse. I found out what narcissistic abuse was. Covert Narcissism in particular. Please Google it. Just in case you might be going through similar. And therein I found out how my soul had been demolished. My very will to live hanging on by a thread. I'm in therapy for it now and making a recovery. So is Bryan's Step Father as he endured a narcissistic father. A shout out to Danish Bashir on Facebook, YouTube and Instagram for his TANA program. (Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse). I can not begin to tell you the pain of giving all you have to someone and it never being acknowledged, never enough, or thanked and then any happiness you do have is resented by them and punished even. You walk on eggshells and you dim your light so as to not make them jealous. And then you die inside! Because you are not being what God created you to be.

I let a very few people know what I was going through, the deep depression. There was really no way to convey the depths of pain. I didn't know it was narcissistic abuse until Mother's Day, this year, 2025. I had hit Rock bottom so bad, I only had one prayer left. I prayed, "God show me". And that prayer was in particular to the relationship I had with Bryan's Step Father, who kept punishing me and seeming to hurt me on purpose. Soul crushing negativity. Of all places, God showed me, on YouTube! I saw a video about narcissistic abuse and what a covert narcissist was. That was it! Like BOOM! Perfect clarity. And now, God is restoring my soul. And I look forward to the calling He has on my life. To share the good news of the gospel, His comfort, joy, hope, goodness and our very present help in times of trouble through my art and testimony. God is good! Amen!

Thank you for all your prayers all these years for Bryan and I. Again, if you don't know Bryan, his accident was May 23, 2009. So it's been a lot of years! Thank you again for your love and compassion! You can read his story on my about page at www.pamherrick.com/inspirational-prophetic-art-and-story.html I'm still praying for a miracle. But thank God with all my heart he is still here with me. He's my hero.
In closing, please pray I grow in my healing and energy to paint. I miss it. My heart gave that up as it was too painful in some way, but I feel very motivated to start again. I'm just tender in my healing yet, so prayers appreciated for courage and strength. Healing after narcissistic abuse is not easy. I appreciate your prayers! God bless!

Before discovering everything I knew about Narcissistic abuse, I was so broken. I had a deep cry of "God, have You forgotten me? Please don’t forget me, I need You.” I know many of you have known that soul crushing brokenness, too. To help with that pain, I started therapy using IFS (Internal Family Systems). It's Inner Child work.
In doing inner parts work, I saw a vision while I listened to inner parts guide. I decided to paint it and share it hoping It would help others to see their inner children coming home to rest safely. All of your precious self.
To explain how that vision appeared, I began talking with parts of me that had protected me, the fierce protectors. Then I met the wounded parts of me that just needed loved, comforted and held. I was overcome with grief when I realized I had left these precious parts alone in their pain and rejection. I cried for them until my pillow was literally soaked. My protectors softened as they watched on. Then the guide suggested letting them all come near and meet each other. Which I did.
And that is when I saw the vision of a great big tree with deep roots by a river with branches reaching to heaven. The tree was me. And they were all gathering near it in this safe strong place. I was told to ask them what they needed. I won't write that all down because I spent a long time talking to them letting them pour their hearts out. But from myself inside, God brought these words up out of my spirit for them,
"You are Safe,
You are loved,
You are Held".
They needed to hear that. I had more tears as I felt each and every part feel like they mattered And were heard. They were not alone and forgotten. Or ashamed of. All the parts felt this acceptance and love, both the too much ones, and the not enough ones. God's love and my love for self went into the deep ache I had, like Living Water poured on parched ground.
For much of my life, I thought I was “too much” or “not enough.” I didn’t understand why I felt pulled in different directions inside. One part of me trying to be strong and perfect, another part collapsing in exhaustion, another part still carrying the pain of a child. I thought something was wrong with me.
But what I came to learn is this: we are made up of many parts. And every part has a reason for being. Some of my parts became Protectors. They were the strong ones, the vigilant ones, the ones who stepped in when things felt unsafe. They learned to guard me, to silence my pain, to keep me moving forward when I felt like falling apart. They weren’t trying to hurt me, they were trying to save me.
Other parts were Wounded Ones The little children inside me who carried the grief, the shame, the fear. They were tender and vulnerable. And because the world felt dangerous, the Protectors often kept them hidden away.
When I began to understand this inner world, something shifted. Instead of fighting against myself, I began to listen. I began to thank my Protectors for working so hard. I began to let my Wounded Ones know they were not alone. And most importantly, I invited Jesus into these places.
I remember the first time I pictured all my parts gathered under the Tree of Safety. At first, the Protectors stood stiff, arms crossed, watching closely. But as they saw the gentleness of Jesus , they began to soften. They realized they didn’t have to carry the burden alone anymore. Slowly, they allowed the Wounded Ones to come closer, to sit in the shade, to take His hand.
This was the beginning of true inner healing: not by pushing parts away, but by welcoming them, listening to them, and letting them rest in God’s love.
Dear one, you may have parts of yourself that you don’t understand. Parts that criticize, parts that shut down, parts that carry sadness or anger. What if instead of rejecting them, you could meet them with compassion? What if you could invite them under your Tree of Safety , where Jesus is waiting? To heal all of you.
Your Protectors have been faithful. Your Wounded Ones are brave.
And all of you
— every part --
is Safe
Loved,
and Held
Hope you like the painting, it is digital art until I can paint it on canvas. Full disclosure, I used AI to help me create it.
I pray for peace and blessings for every part of you!
God bless!
Love, Pam

Amen! Surely Goodness and Mercy Will follow me all the days of my life! Last night as I was caring for my son Bryan, thanking God for His grace at a moment when my mind was wondering away to the place where I think I’m tired and why isn’t God healing Bryan, I suddenly heard, “Surely goodness and Mercy will follow me all the days of my life!” Psalm 23:6

I stopped in my tracks. Remembering my commitment to getting out of dark depression and speaking words of life. I miss my son Bryan so much, and I just want him healed. But even in this hard situation, God is good. My son melts my heart. And, for him, surely Goodness and Mercy Will follow him, too. His accident was an accident, they happen. I don’t blame God. I get upset sometimes he hasn’t healed him, but I don’t know God’s timing. Please don’t be like Job’s friends with people you see in trials. Spiritual battles are real. Don’t ever think, “what did they do to deserve this?” Fact is, it may be the enemy trying to destroy them, to stop them from the destiny God has. God will turn it around for good. 

Jesus came to set the captives free!  And, I accept that! I accept all the good God has for my heart! I don’t care what kind of storm you are in. You are not alone! Be set Free! In Jesus Name! Amen! 

Much love, 
Pam and Bryan 💕

Please follow me on my Facebook page at  www.facebook.com/Propheticartjustforyou

You know sometimes, life is just Rough! I haven’t had a bad day, or week, I’ve had a bad couple years. A bad decade actually, lol. I’ts been hard. Truly God has carried me. You have no idea how true!  You know, my spirit can do this, my body has just become so tired. Ands it’s my own fault for not taking care of myself. But even if I did, I think it would still be tired. Most of you know I take care of Bryan, my bedridden son since May 23, 2009! I love this boy so much! But life is really hard. I mean really hard. Only someone who is a caretaker for years would understand. I hate that I’m so tired. And to reserve energy, I kind of shut down inside, I didn’t do anything I didn’t have to. Including painting. Which I love. But it’s work, lol! I stopped Facebook and Pinterest. I just didn’t have the emotional energy to get engaged. 

I don’t know how I’m gonna fix this, BUT GOD! I can only look to Him and trust Him! I know one thing for sure, by turning in and not out to help others, my problems loom much bigger. I become a stingy soul. Holding on to what little energy I have. It’s not enough. I’ve dwindled and dwindled. To become protective, almost bitter. Except I know God would never let that happen to me. I have prayed that long before Bryan’s accident. I didn’t have the best upbringing or marriage, mother and husband both alchoholics. So by the grace of God, He held my hand through all that and blessed me with a Polly Anna mentality, lol. I love the good. I love good. I always try to see the good! The ugly is too bad to look at! It will swallow you up! I’m gonna be like Dory, just keep swimming swimming swimming! Please, you, too, grab on to the good! Find it, build it, see it. God is good! 

I just need a little little bit of a miracle to shake off this depression that has settled on me. God is faithful. And I have to draw closer to Him! I feel like I do with some of my paintings, desperately reaching to touch His heart, to feel Him, to bring His Spirit to life for others to feel. To feel healing, refreshing, His life,His Joy. The opposite of a stingy soul! To be a bountiful soul! What a good prayer, Lord, help me be a bountiful soul! Amen to that!

So, I’ll write more soon. For now, I’m getting my bearings back. And. Please pray for me, especially my tired body. And my frustration that someone took my domain Just For You Prophetic Art (. com) it expired and I didn’t know it. Sadly a lot of my art is tied to that web address for when people click on it from Pinterest and the internet. 

I’ve relaunched this website from JustForYouPropheticArt. C o m
to PamHerrick.com thankfully a lot of my art I put both names in SEO. 
‘But I’m mad that someone took my domain. I’ll get over it...

Lord help me! 

Many blessings and much love! Pam and Bryan! 
He is doing well by the way!
​Thank you for your prayers! 

I know life is hard sometimes. It overwhelms us. But our life is precious. It is the cares of the world and the attacks of the enemy that cause our feet to slip. God directs us to be strong and courageous. To the point, of, "having done all to stand." I just have to share my testimony to give hope that you are stronger than you think. You are precious to the Lord. You know the enemy wants to harm you and often, that harm comes from the thoughts he manages to plant in your head. Pay sweet close attention to whose voice you hear. God says, "Be strong and courageous." Take a breath... know you are not alone, and that what you face will not last forever. It might not even matter 10 minutes from now. Perhaps it might take until tomorrow to be better. Maybe even all week. But this too shall pass.

Or... it might be like a battle I face or other loved ones I have come to know with similar battles. Our loved ones fight for their lives every day with diseases, challenges, and overwhelming odds against them. It is hard to be in this kind of battle. It helps to remember not sweating the small stuff and things that won't matter 10 minutes or a week from now. Always, our perspective rules our heart. Change your perspective, change your life. God's perspective to uplift our heart, "Be strong and courageous!" because "The Lord your God is with you!" You are not alone. (Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous, Do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.) On our darkest day, even that will not be forever. To my friends fighting serious battles. I pray and believe for healing for all our loved ones. I humbly bow my heart to the Lord our God and admit I don't understand, but the enemy is not going to rob me of my belief God is good and to press in for a miracle. And if we don't get that miracle, life is still good, and one day, God will wipe away every tear. I have had a lot of tears. My heart is tender to the afflictions I see around me and mercy runs deep. 

This is the love of God in His saints for one another. We are to be compassionate, it is His way. We need each other. We don't have all the answers and we may not know what to say to one who is hurting. But mark my word, just knowing someone cares about you is all the difference in the world. It is a tangible feeling given by the saints of God of His love. We are His hands and feet. We help each other to be brave. to "be strong and courageous." 

Press on. Don't give up. God is good. We may not have the answers, but I believe while we know not one thing of the reason for what we face, while we are attacked and tossed and living in a storm, the King of Peace beckons our heart to rest. He is on the throne and working on our behalf even if we don't see it. I KNOW this. God's love is my saving grace. God's love is the only thing big enough for all the pain in the world. One day, if we don't see our miracle here, we will be at peace in all things. In heaven, there will be no more tears. 

Until that day, don't crumble, don't give up hope, don't let go of God's promises, press in, "be strong and courageous!" STAND! Press on. Take your land back. And when you are weak, God will be your strength. Fall in his arms until you are strengthened again. 

Much love, 
Bryan's Mom (Pam)

If you have not read my testimony and Bryan's story, I invite you to read it and hope it is an encouragement. I have been through many battles of my son fighting for his life after having been hit by two cars while walking. He was going to be a missionary and this happened just days after he got his passport. It is hard to even wrap your head around it, but I will rest my heart and stand and be courageous. And rest in God with all my hope. I pray my son is healed this side of heaven, but if not, one day for sure, he will be made whole, and so will my heart. And you, too my friend, will be made whole.

Here is Bryan's story if you have not read it:  www.pamherrick.com/inspirational-prophetic-art-and-story.html I pray it is an encouragement. 

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​Thank you so much. God bless you! Don't give up!!!

Prophetic Art painting of Blue horse with pretty blue eyes, by me, Pam Herrick. It is a digital painting of Bryan's Horse of Hope painting. I have that painting listed in my store here at Just For You Prophetic Art and at my Fine Art America website here, www.PamHerrickPropheticArt.com where I have not only prints, but framed prints, canvas prints, hoodies, t-shirts, totes, throw pillows, phone cases and more! I am excited with my new website because of all the options available for Prophetic Art gifts! Hope you like it!