Update on health of Bryan and My other son, Michael Brent (who just blacked out and crashed into a fence days ago). Thank you for your Birthday wishes for them. I put chocolate icing from Bryan's Birthday cake on his tongue. He really liked it! He can not eat real food, but can taste it. I purée real food and feed him in his feeding tube. He is healthy but has circulation issues that cause his skin graft and incisions to keep getting sores. And he has cellulitis from the surgery putting his skull cap back on. It just won't go away. Please pray it does. This picture is of Bryan and our kitty "Marbles" who loves to sleep with him. Patches are on because Bryan is sleeping and he often sleeps with his eyes partly open so I have to patch them. 

Months ago, God healed filaments off his eyes that he had had for over 5 years. In case you missed that post. I was crying one day, because those things cause him pain and have to be scraped off when they form. I asked God, would He please as a sign that He is going to heal all of Bryan, to heal his eyes for me as his Mom, to have mercy and understand I could just not bear this anymore. HE HEALED THEM! Understand that he had had them for years. This was a miracle in my book. I had told God I would tell everyone, but when the filaments were gone, I waited to make sure they did not come back and then I got nervous to share, I don't know why. Thinking I would be discouraged or embarrassed if they came back. After not sharing like I told God I would, they came back. I asked God to forgive me for not doing as I said I would and to please heal them again and I would tell everyone. He had mercy and healed them. I told everyone in a post, and they have not been back since!

I think there is a season his healing is destined for. For a reason. I certainly believe he will be healed. He also had sores on his big toes that were not healing. I nursed on them for years now and again about a month ago, I cried and told God, please, heal his toes! I can not bare this anymore. The Dr. wanted to remove his toenails. I did not want to. I asked God to heal them like he healed his eyes. I have pictures in the comments to show the before and after! Praise God, they are healed! The cellulitis can go, too! Please pray the wounds and cellulitis go away, too. And then the ultimate, his brain has total healing! I believe this is going to happen in God's timing. You don't know how many times I have prayed and asked Jesus to remind God how Mary asked Jesus to turn the water into wine before it's time. I think that is why God had mercy and healed Bryan's eyes and toes! Thank you for all your prayers for him all these years! His healing is coming! Already paid for, but manifesting in portions! Your prayers have so encouraged my family and given hope and strength in some very hard times.

My other son, Michael Brent, is OK after his accident. They did not find anything wrong in the ER. He had a concussion and his neck and head hurt. He was wearing a heart monitor at home which he just got off today. We are waiting on results of test to see why he blacked out. I think Angels guided his car when he crashed, because he hit an eight foot fence that slowed his crash post by post, instead of slamming into a building or another car. I am so thankful he is OK. I can not bare another son injured in a car accident. We still need answers as to why he blacked out, so please keep him in your prayers. He had the crash on his Birthday, poor thing. Bryan's Birthday was the 28th and Michael Brent's was the 30th. So proud of both of them and my daughter Stacey. My priceless treasures!

Once again, I find myself without enough help with Bryan and ask for prayer that I find some. One of Bryan's caretakers, Ruth, had a stoke. Please pray for her. She is not sure when she will be able to come back. I need help in the meanwhile. I have not been able to paint lately or write. I hope to soon. We really miss Ruth. She is so loving to Bryan. Please pray for a speedy recovery for her.

Other than the healings needed around here, we are all good! I am still waiting results from my stress test for my heart. I have had swelling and some chest pain and other heart related symptoms. It may just be exhaustion. Trying to reduce my stress and trust God. I am a good soldier and confessing the word over all of us, but sometimes, we just need to lean a little on each other. I thank you for being there for us and helping us through these hard times. I pray for each of you as well for all your needs to be met and that you know the peace of our Lord Jesus. 

Here is a link to part one of Bryan's stories if you have not seen them. Just click read more on the Lion post for part one, more stories on other pics in it's comments. Feel free to share if you know someone who would be blessed. Thank you so much! God bless you!
https://www.facebook.com/Propheticartjustforyou/photos/a.1578421512390604.1073741829.1575572612675494/1578417819057640/?type=1&hc_location=ufi

PART 52: Endless Possibilities! Bryan's Birthday is July 28th! I am thankful to God for his beautiful life! Our life is a gift and has endless possibilities. God's love is as faithful as the rising of the sun! You might have thought you were going on a different path than you ended up on, but I can testify, God will use you on the path you are on. This is not where I thought I was going to be, and it is not where Bryan thought he was going to be, but God still uses us and I am thankful Bryan is here to celebrate another Birthday! Amen! Life is good. I can say that after all I have been through, because it is true. Life is good, with endless possibilities. Painting in Bryan's honor comforts me as his Mother. Just knowing I am helping to go on with the plans God put in his heart. I know trauma. I know God heals it. I know He gives hope. It is more than praising Him in the storm, it is knowing His love in the storm with the confidence it is going to be OK! Just keep going and looking to Him. Cry when you need to and ask for His comfort. A relationship with God does not mean you will never experience pain. It means you have Him there to comfort you through it when you do have pain. And you have His strength to lean on. Even when you make mistakes... don't worry, He is right there. Nothing can separate you from the Love of God.

Bryan came to know this. He knew Jesus as his friend and was so glad to know Jesus did not abandon him when he made bad choices. He testified if you messed up plan A for your life, God had a plan B, and C and D and all the way to Z and He would start over if He needed. The plan is His unfailing love to see you through to the end. To bless your life. To have you learn of His love so deeply, you can not help but let it flow out of your own life to others. You end up with a testimony down in your bones of knowing that you know, that you know, that you know, His love and what God has done for you! And you testify! And your testimony is anointed!  God will use it to touch a heart in the deepest way. It is the most amazing thing! God can take one testimony and speak to 100 people in a hundred different ways, all because He knows you and wants to love and encourage you! 

Back to endless possibilities. I know life throws us curve balls. I do, trust me. But life is still good. It all comes down to living from the inside out. You know, we don't have to let the world frantic our mind. We can tell our mind how to react. YOU can choose how to react. Always. I am not talking about rolling with the punches if you are in an abusive relationship or something. Get help. I am talking for the crazy things life throws at us, we don't have to take the stress of it. We do have a Prince of Peace. This is not a thing you learn one day and then go, "Oh, I've got it." It is a daily choice to live from the inside out. You were created to live life, to see and enjoy it and be thankful. The devil would throw distractions by the tons to keep you from enjoying it. Train your mind to ignore them and to see the life God gave you. If your son was hit by a car.... guess what, Life is still good and precious and people are precious. Flowers are still lovely to smell and food still taste good. God gives us little treasures that are our life. We can't live if we are looking at the sadness or the problem. 

Dream with God. Any Anger you have.... just tell Him and ask Him to help you deal with it. That is a crazy battle I hate. I absolutely hate! When I was mad at my husband for not being there when I needed him after Bryan's accident, I did not get rid of that anger in a flash. i do think God can do that. I know He can. But in my case, He let me go on a journey of forgiveness. One I confessed I was on, but one my heart did not match up with my mouth right away. But I said it just the same and went on that journey one prayer at a time. I knew I could not give into the anger because I would be bitter and I did not know if I knew how to find my way back from bitter. I had had enough things go terribly wrong in my life they would likely all pile up together and kill me. Kill my soul. Kill this little light of mine I was so determined to let shine. Seeds of the Holy Ghost down in my heart as a child. I did not want to lose that peace and glorious light. In all honesty, I know He would have delivered me from that place, but on my darkest nights, it was a lonely path I did not want to go on. I could not let my heart go there. So I kept praying for God to help me with my anger. You know what, I still pray the prayer when the enemy brings to my remembrance something that really upset me. Some people say if you have forgive you forget. Hog wash. Praise the Lord if that works for them, but is sure is not the case for me. I have lots of wrongs in my life the devil loves to remind me of and my battle strategy is to look all the harder at the blessings and ask God to help me with what I am upset about. The more the battle, the more I lean into God. One day maybe the enemy will realize it only puts me deeper in God the more he attacks. This is your safe place my beloved friends. Taking everything to God. Everything. Your own self doubts even. You feeling like He could not love you. Maybe you think you have made too many mistakes? Take everything to Him and tell Him you are mad, discouraged, don't know how to forgive, don't want to forgive, want to bonk your neighbor over the head! You get it..... we are real people with real moods and the enemy targets us there. Just keep taking all your troubles to the Lord and asking Him to help you live life. Ask Him to remind you to take the time to look at the trees and the skies and into the eye of your loved ones. SEE them. Especially your kids, SEE them. 

My loneliest nights were in the first couple years of Bryan's accident. I was so hurt my husband was not there. My hurt turned into anger. Then I don't know what I would call what it turned into, other than I found myself in a desert not knowing how to get out of it. I was mad. I had a right to be. I am not justifying my thoughts. it was just fact, I had a right to be.  But it paralyzed me. My heart was so heavy. God gave me grace to still praise Him. He gave me grace to take care of Bryan all the unimaginable hours that it took without help. My daughter helped what she could, but it only let me sleep around 3 solid hours... almost solid. I slept on the couch beside Bryan's bed, which was in the living room, while my grand kids got ready for school in the morning. But still, It was at least a chunk of sleep! I have stayed up all night through the wee hours into the morning for over 6 years now. I enjoy the quiet now. Back then, I was in the desert, in the dark, and often felt all alone. I cried when I needed to. Mostly I tried not to, because it hurt so bad. I knew once I started, I would feel my heart break. Two big guns aimed at me. My Son wounded in his bed and my husband not there to help or comfort me. I began to hate him. That is a horrible, horrible word and emotion. I believe our enemy is not flesh and blood but spiritual wickedness in high places. Words spoken that hurt, they don't often even know they did that. But as much as I know this, it was hard to love my husband anymore. I think I need to tell more of that story to help those that are trying to live through the healing of a relationship. For now, i will tell you. The only thing that worked for me, was to keep asking God to help me. I told Him I was sorry for feeling this horrible nasty way, but I could not help it. I told Him this over and over instead of dwelling on the pain and feeding it and making it bigger than I could have ever handled, I just told God how much it hurt me and asked Him to heal me and help me love. As I said, I still pray this prayer over all my hurts. Hurts are real. We need to do something with them right away and continually so they don't poison you like the enemy intends. Take them all to God, over and over, every day, every minute if you have to. His peace will begin to cover that hurt and heal it. It will. I can testify to that. Does not mean it will never come back up again, the hurt, but we can give it right back to God again. He is our Deliverer. Yes?! He is our Peace! He is our friend. He knows all the struggles you are going through. It is not like you have to pretend you are not that mad or don't have that nasty mean thought in your head. He knows. He loves you and is not shocked about it. He will help you get rid of it and give peace in it's place. 

Real life has real problems. I have friends who have had strokes, just now even. Friends who have cancer. Friends who lost their jobs. Friends who have kids they worry about. Life is really hard sometimes, but is is always beautiful. I can not live if I look at my problems. I would die inside. I look at love and live from His love on the inside. And when I forget this, I get very stressed and tired. Every single day we get to choose how we live. We are not alone. Sometimes, I take just a minute to look at the leaves on the trees and know, there is God. I hear the birds and I hear His love. I see a person struggling, especially with cancer, and I get so mad at the enemy and the sickness in the world, but know it is still a good world. I pray for healing for all the pain I see. I have great hope in that even if the healing I prayed for does not manifest, God is still there and the bad thing is not of Him. We live in a fallen world where we do have sickness and troubles. One day.... we will not. In Heaven, there will be no more pain or tears or suffering. While we are here on Earth, there will be. But life is still good and beautiful. To look at the goodness and beauty on purpose, will bless your soul. I know this. I see all the endless possibilities. For my life. For Bryan's. For my Family. For my friends. For the Church. For all the plans the enemy tried to ruin, it is never too late! The possibilities are endless. Your life has endless good things meant for it. I don't care what the enemy tried to do to derail you. God will make it right. 

I hope this story helps someone. Keep giving ALL your troubles, doubts, fears, plans, anger, hopes, dreams to the  Lord. Share your whole life with Him. He wants you to and He wants to help you with it. My favorite prayer ever is this, "Lord, help me with my life." I pray it all the time. Especially when I start to feel sad, mad and overwhelmed. Hang in there! Help is not only coming, He is already there!

I hope to  write more soon. I have not had much time to write or paint until just recently. I got a couple paintings done. Unfortunately, as soon as I had time, one of Bryan's caretakers had a stroke. It may be a little while until I can paint and write again as much as I would like to. In the meanwhile, thank you for praying for us for the help we need and for his caretakers health as well. Looking back over my Art album and Art page on Facebook, I have to say I am amazed at all I did get done! I thank the Lord He helped me to do all that! My most recent painting is titled Songs Of Deliverance and is one of my most favorite pieces ever! It is at bottom of page. Anywhere you see me mentioning my name and Prophetic Artist, it is not because I am bragging. It is because it will help me raise money for missions because it will cause my name and Art to comes up in google searches. So Thank you for understanding that. I am just thankful to paint and share God's love. I would never want to seem like I was bragging about it! 

God bless you! Thank you so much for your love and prayers for us. If you want to follow us on facebook and read more of Bryan's stories, older ones are on this Lion post. Part one, my testimony and what happened to Bryan is on the lion and more stories on other pics. To be notified of when I share new art or stories, click the like button on my page and then from that same button, select get notifications. Facebook only circulates to a small percent so doing this ensures you see future post. This week as I celebrate Bryan's Birthday, all items in store are on sale for 20% off. code is GodBlessBryan and on His Birthday, July 28th, the print, "He Is Mighty To Save", is 50% off July 27/28, coupon code is HappyBirthdayBryan. I just wanted to celebrate his birthday with you! Here is the link to his stories on Facebook. Thanks for looking! God bless you!
www.facebook.com/Propheticartjustforyou

PART 46: "Precious Tears". Our tears, it is said, God collects in a bottle. His bottle. He feels every ounce of our pain. Every hurt matters. Every hurt, hurts. Our tears help us to release that pain, but knowing someone cares about them is a comfort in itself. Not one tear is wasted that God will not wipe away in the end. I painted this painting for the earthquake victims in Nepal and the surrounding area, and the other events around the world. I would call all this great tribulation. There is light at the end of the dark tunnel. Whatever situation of pain you might find yourself in. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Even in death, beloved, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there. Let your tears roll and fall into his Love. He cares. He sees every one. I pray His comfort comes to you to the place the tears fell from, and that He brings His calm, His hope, His peace and ultimately even His joy there.

I can remember so many things that caused pain when I was a child growing up, being a teen around drugs, being a young wife of an alcoholic husband, being a mom of teens, being a daughter of an alcoholic and drug addict. Many prayers and tears. The Lord never forsaked me, and He will never forsake you. I was thinking this morning as I was hugging Bryan and telling him how much I loved him, about when he was a little boy and his natural father and I shared custody. For a brief moment when I kissed him, I saw the same cute little freckly nose I used to see when he was a kid. God How I loved to kiss that little nose. Melts my heart. For all the moms and dads out there that have to share custody, my heart goes out to you. That is a big pain to be separated from your kid, especially when they live hours and hours away. A tear is always there, right on the edge ready to fall out when I think on those days. There are many days we can think on of the sadness we went through, but we can see the light was there all along in that dark tunnel. We can see His faithfulness in His grace to help us. So when we face new pains, we can remember what He got us through. 

We can find great hope in others telling their story of what God got them through. The power of the testimony. Dear Lord, my heart breaks for all the pain I see in the world. It gives me comfort to know You feel our pain, that you are saving every tear. Until the day we are in Heaven and you wipe every one away, thank you that you send comfort through your Holy Spirit to our very heart. Help us to be a hero when we need to be and help us cry when we need to cry. 

I have needed to cry with all that has gone on lately. The Bible said there would be dark days but that He would raise up a standard. That standard is us. Opening our hearts to His great love and light. Let us cry our tears, and let His braveness enter, and then the places of beauty we have found there, let us shine that. Let us tell that. Let us love. If you catch yourself putting your brother down, go back to the Love chapter and see how God would want your speech and heart to be. We have to shine. We have to love. We have to be the standard God is raising up. Who is going to show light in this darkness? YOU, children of God. We must stop hurting each other and humble ourselves and pray. Hearts have to be what is important. We need to weep with those that weep and mourn with those that mourn and rejoice with those that rejoice. We do not need to tear anyone down because they see things a little different. Holy Ghost is teaching us all. If we see a grave error, we can talk in love, and we can do it in a private message, not in open arguments on Facebook. Where is God's glory in that? Where is His Kingdom here on earth? It is not in that. 

I have seen denominations tear down walls and remember to love. I have also seen them tear people down instead with the need to change another's point of view to theirs. The Bible says LOVE. When Bryan first got into his accident, and to this day, people of all denominations are praying for him. It was and is a beautiful thing. I see God in every last one of them. I see His love. And I see gracious words between them on my page. I am thankful for the love and prayers. Love is extended. I don't think anyone knows what my religion is. I don't actually like that word because it gives God a bad name. For the record, I was raised Methodist, then my Mom remarried a Baptist, Then as a teen I went to a Pentecostal church, then as a young adult a Nondenominational that was Charismatic (I think that is how you would put it) and I love them all, but they are not my religion. Each one has parts I love. But my religion, if anyone ask me, is JESUS. It is all about Him. What He did, why, what He made it possible for us to do. And even He weeps for and with us. Whatever burden we bare, He says to cast on Him. He says to call His Father our Father. He says to love one another. He says no greater love than to lay our life down for another. Can we not just hold our tongue back from lashing out a little bit and season our speech with the grace of our Lord? We can correct...but in love, and if we are not doing it in love, then what are we doing it in? 

My heart breaks for what is going on in the world. Jesus in us is the hope of Glory. Let Him shine. Love and bring comfort to those around you. Cry with others. Help others. Love others. rejoice and laugh with others. Think, "others", and your life will be full. 

I pray every hurtful place in your heart is given the grace to cry and heal. Let it go. It is going to a safe place. A place where He knows, and He cares, and one day, He will wipe away every tear. My heart is with you. I know that journey of tears. And I know it will be OK. It will be OK. You will be OK. 

This painting was painted for the earthquake victims of Nepal. (selling today 7-5-15 for $31.95, prints also available for $5.95-$9.95) I have a ministry partner in Nepal named Evangelist Durbasha Luitel and a young student JFYPA has supported in studies and needs in Bryan's honor. Both say the government is not getting help to the people in the remote areas and not very well in the main areas. They are hungry, and need food, water, blankets, help with roofs for their house with Monsoon season upon them. For some, there is no home anymore. The earthquake took it. If you would like to help, you can click on this link: http://www.gofundme.com/to-bless-Nepal (you can copy paste and share it, too) 


if you would like to be notified when I post new art or stories, please hit the like button on my page and from that same button select get notifications. Here's link:  https://www.facebook.com/Propheticartjustforyou . I Also, I share a story about my son Bryan on a pic with a Lion attached (as well as throughout my blog)  Part one, my testimony and what happened to Bryan is on the Lion and more stories on other pics in its comment section. I pray it is a blessing. Please share if you know someone who would be touched. Here is the link to that story:    https://www.facebook.com/Propheticartjustforyou/photos/a.1578421512390604.1073741829.1575572612675494/1578417819057640/?type=1&hc_location=ufi  
Thank you so much! God bless you!
Love, Bryan's Mom (Pam)

PART 51: God desires you live life to the fullest! Let Him hold your hand and show you the world! There is no good thing He withholds from you. He is not mad at you! The very message of the Gospel is the Good News, Jesus set you free! He set you free from the things that tried to keep you in bondage. He has set you free from fear. He has set you free from guilt. His Mercy is new every morning! Every morning! You get that? EVERY morning! God's plans for you are good. 

I spent probably half my life trying to be good enough for God's love! Religion told me I had to be. I had to dress a certain way, I had to certainly be good and not make a mistake. Yes, I knew God loved me, but in my mind, because He had to, because He was God, not because He really loved "me". I went to a private Christian school where I was told no make up, no pants (girls don't wear pants according to religion), no short dresses (above mid calve lower leg), and certainly no dancing. And honestly, the examples around me were not that loving. Many drank pickle juice every chance they got! They kind of looked down on me. I shared some of that in earlier stories and will share more soon. I have had a few personal challenges lately and not able to paint or write stories. This week I should be back on track. Thank you to those who were praying for me! 

Here is the thing. Somewhere, someway, God revealed to my heart He actually likes me! And I talk to Him all day long. All the time. And when I say something I shouldn't have to someone, I pretty much know it right away. And sometimes.... oh my, I know it before I say it, and then dog on if I don't still say it anyway! I do that less now, because, well, I started listening a little more to His voice in my heart than mine. Nothing on my doing. He just speaks really loud sometimes! I am so thankful I learned He loved me. I am so thankful I learned He loves me right where I am. Oh what a joy! He loves you right where you are! You are just absolutely precious and a bundle of joy to Him! He does not look at the mistakes you made, or will make. He is looking at His pride and joy, you, the creation dear to His heart. Jesus died for anything that would keep you from His love. It is a fact. If you hesitate to believe that, ask Him to help you! Just be a kid. Got a problem, go to your Daddy (God). Make a mistake, don't turn and run....I did this, I know what that feels like. In your worst of worst times, turn to Him. He is there. It is easier to have His help than to run. Stay and know He loves you through that mess you might be going through! Nothing stops His love. 

We all make mistakes. There is no need to beat yourself up about it. The very thought of feeling bad is proof God is wooing your heart, not to judge you, but to love you and walk with you through that thing! He will never leave you or forsake you! I find my walk with the Lord to be a simple one where I just believe what He said when He said He loved us. And I have this as my guide... the scripture that in my mind, says what the will of God is. Which is this, Micah 6:8: It hath been told thee, O man, what is good, and what the Lord doth require of thee: only to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God. (Jewish Publication Society Bible)

That is not so hard, right? Justice (doing good), love mercy (take a big portion of that for yourself! it is not just for others!), and walk humbly. That does not mean you walk like a no good worm. It means you know you are a treasure of God and look to him for your direction, your worth, your marching orders. He is the Captain that we know and trust. You may be a mighty warrior. What glory is there to God if you act like a worm? God's goodness is a very real thing to shout from the mountain tops for the evangelist! There are many callings and gifts made for each individual, YOU will touch lives with your calling and gifts. And you will enjoy life, also, because that is first, relationship, YOUR walk with God. Him taking you by your hand and showing YOU the world! Stepping back in shyness or false humility, what good does that do for the Kingdom of God? And by the way, I feel the need to take up for the worm! It is a remarkable creature that does a great job at what God created it to be! We would be in a mess without them. There are so many parts of the body of Christ, and they all are needed. Don't shrink back from the stirrings of your heart that God put in there! 

Those stirrings don't have to be to go and evangelize the world! You might not run a crusade that will lead thousands to Jesus, but you know what, you can run the crusade in your household and win the souls of your children for the Lord! You can have a Bible study in your house if you have the gift of teaching. And guess what, you can have a Bible study in your house even if you do not have the gift of teaching! You can all just reason together, or God might send a teacher! You might have the gift of hospitality that a teacher might lack. The teacher might not have a Bible study because the thought is just to overwhelming to them, but you may love to be a hostess and are good at it and start a study with the teacher. You may be called into a group, led there by the Lord, because He put an anointing on you for healing. You may be called into a group because you are the peace maker, or have the gift of mercy! You may be the one that makes everyone feel at home! There are countless gifts and callings! We are in this together! We are all growing in the knowledge of our Lord. It is a beautiful thing. No need to worry! He is the Author and finisher of your faith! YOU WILL GET THERE! And He will work through each of us to help others get there!

Pride is the flip side of humility...we don't want to go there, and not know in our heart our gift is from the Lord.  We don't want to lean on our gift and not God, thinking more highly of ourselves than we ought. You are what you are because God made you. So, on one end, if you shy away from what God put in your heart, just keep pondering it and pray for boldness. If you are leaning on your gift and forgetting God, remember to thank Him and ask Him what more can you do for Him. 


It all boils down to life. To living. The most precious parts are the ones the Lord put around you. Never go off to minister to the world, like the prize is out there somewhere, and neglect your own family. The prize is enjoying the gifts God gave to you of a wife, husband, or children. If you chose not to have a family, your prize is the fullness of His love in your heart and the world He touches you with. The kindness you see in the eyes of others! Treasures and blessings everywhere! We all need to be sure to take the time to enjoy the life He gave us. Have our love cup full so we have to pour out to the world. (I need some more love cup filling this week! Been a hard one.) Be a kid in your heart towards God and know He looks on you with love. If something happened you feel bad about, just say you are sorry. There is not suppose to be condemnation to the children of God, we just say we are sorry and move on. If you are not a child of God, He wants you to be. You just ask Jesus to save you and He will. He will make you a new creation on the inside, born into God's kingdom, born again. It is a spirit thing, that happens to your spirit, and then He, the Spirit of Truth will teach you. It all comes from just asking Him to be your savior. That is where your journey of peace begins. The Good News! Old things passed away, behold all things new! Just like that! His mercies are new every morning so we can say we are sorry if He showed us somewhere  we messed up. It is a relationship of love. He will teach you and guide you. You just let Him love you and let Him teach you how to do that to others. Do Justice, love mercy, and walk humbly before your God. And He helps you do it! Win, win!

Practice knowing how precious your are to God. Practice it until you know it! Think every flower you see, He grew just for you. Think that beautiful cloud you saw, He meant for you to see. When you see the leaves on trees blowing, feel it, and know God is touching you with His love. Notice all the love He put around you! You noticing that, is the forming of a beautiful relationship. Walk with God. He really, really likes you! He loves to see you happy! He loves to bless you. It is His desire to bless you! Practice, practice, practice, until you do not hesitate to come boldly to the throne of grace in your time of need. Our Fathers face is never turned away from us. Only one time ever did He turn His face, and that was on Jesus, so that He could look on you with Love. Don't waste that! Jesus died for it. And Jesus is so proud to have presented you to God. You are a trophy! You are special to the Lord! You are loved so very, very, much! You are safe in that love, He won't pull it back, ever! When I get a little overwhelmed or feel I made a mistake I should say I am sorry for. I say I am sorry, and then take the time to take a very deep breath, many actually, to breathe in God's love and I tell myself, He is right here with me, to just shake it all off, dust myself off and carry on! Whatever I did wrong, is now in the past because I asked God to forgive me. And that is what God does with our sin, throws it far from us, as far as the east is from the west, gone! To never be remembered. Talk about humble. Don't bring that thing back up when you know God forgave it! Amen!? You are just loved, don't forget it! Pass it on! It is Good News! 

To follow me on Facebook or to be notified when I post new art or a story, click the like button on my page and from that same button you can select get notifications. I only post once or twice a day. Here is the link to my page. http://www.facebook.com/Propheticartjustforyou 

Here is a post that you can also share if you want that has all my stories in it. Just click on link and it will take you to a lion post. Part one, my testimony and what happened to my son Bryan is on the Lion, rest of stories on other pics in it's comment section. Just click on pics to read. 
https://www.facebook.com/Propheticartjustforyou/photos/a.1578421512390604.1073741829.1575572612675494/1578417819057640/?type=1&hc_location=ufi 

Thank you so much! God bless you! Love Pam, Bryan's Mom!

Love is not always easy! Seems like a daily choice of dusting yourself off and choosing it again! But what a powerful choice it is! I came across this message written last year. Here is it: Just want to share a thought. I have had long talks with God (lots of time on my hands by Bryan's side) and such a hunger to see His power manifested. I am convinced beyond anything His greatness is manifested in the smallest act of kindness (love). That is where His power in our hearts is released.

Something so deep and profound happens in our hearts when we witness a kind gesture, like a mom kissing her baby, someone jumping in the water and saving someone, someone at a check out with not enough money and a stranger pays the bill. Our hearts swell with, well, LOVE.
It is caring. There is such a hunger in humanity for God's Love.

You allowing His Love to flow to others is TANGIBLE, God's Spirit flows to them. The world needs it, the Church needs it, I need it. We need God's Love, not religion, not condemnation.

I think in the modern church sometimes, our taught religious reactions mess us up and meaning to help others, we often harm them in an attempt to teach them how God wants them to be. Forgetting that is the Holy Spirit's job. He is very good at conviction, and it comes to the person in a manner they respond to. Each person is at a different place in their journey with Him. It is not our job to try to make them where "we" think they should be. It is our job to LOVE them.

I know nothing I am saying is new, but my heart is so heavy just to see Him. I believe that if we remember to LOVE and not judge or condemn...and I know we don't mean to do that, we are trying to help...mostly, sometimes since we are not perfect we can be down right nasty (yep)..,but if we choose to LOVE, we release God's Kingdom here on earth as it is in Heaven. Our choices make tangible experiences. Sheer love expressed can melt the hardest of hearts. God's love released through you can water the driest desert. Mighty, mighty things can happen just because we choose love.

I think the more love we see and release, the more tangible God's Kingdom is Experienced. A thought I have over and over is just caring for one another, kind of the way people would share in an AA (alcoholics Anonymous) meeting. It is real there in those meetings. So when people go to church, they have real hurts, problems, challenges, that, gee...they need to feel love, that's all. And not have to put on their church face. We just need each other. Period. And the world needs to see, and experience God's Love.

Bryan shared one time that we get the first of the two great commandments alright, to love God with all our hearts, and with tears and great visible weight on his heart, he struggled through saying it is the second one we have trouble with, to love our neighbor. He had had battles in choosing to love, but he chose love, he humbled himself to that choice and beat himself up when he missed the mark, until God's love assured him He loved him no matter what.

Bryan would be strengthened in heart from God's love and have courage to choose love towards others again. There was and is a great anointing on Bryan's life, that anointing was God's Love being sought and released from his life.

The power I am so hungry to see of God I know is released through the choice of LOVE. And of late, I am reminded to take captive of my thoughts and choose love. I know in times past, the choice of Love, always produced the most fruit and I have seen His power released through choosing Love.

So in closing, who can we choose to Love in our life. What can we lay down and die to, let go of, forgive, not that it is easy, we simply make the choice, God's Love will empower us to carry out our choices. As I saw my son do, and was so proud of him, we can dust ourselves off and choose love again.

I consider my self currently in the dusted off condition, lol. I choose love. I think the more we dust ourselves off and choose that, the more power of God is released in our world, I really do. ....tangibly.

I am so glad God's love will never fail!

That was the message I came across, this is me here and now writing. I find that at the end of the message I said I was currently in the dusted off position, but today after reading, I know I have some new dusting off to do. Little things creep in so easily. Many in the neatly gift wrapped packages from the enemy called "offenses". Those nasty little boogers! My goodness they are a daily thing sometimes, right? There was a time when every night at bed, I took the time to ask God to search my heart and reveal to me anywhere I was unpleasing to Him and ask His forgiveness. I even asked Him to forgive me for what I did unpleasing that I did not even know about! I have gotten out of that habit. I am starting that again tonight, well, even before tonight.... as soon as I post this, because I feel yucky stuff in me that slipped by and is laying in there in my heart a landing strip for more attacks from the enemy. I will spend time with God and let Him clean my heart up. 

Somewhere I had learned to open my heart up and let God in to help me weed out bad stuff. I can't believe I forgot that! How easily the cares of the world made me forget.  It is a much easier daily thing than to let it build up and not even know the extent of the offenses or just how many are in there.  If we listen to God's direction, He sure gave us good ones. Like guard your heart with all diligence for out of if flow the essence of life (something like that). Offenses stop the flow. I also used to say the Lord's prayer every night and prayed it over my family, my parents, both sets of grand parents and prayed it up the line, down the line, and across the line so all my relatives were covered. That makes a cross! By up the line, I mean their relatives above them, across the line for all the cousins and relations, and down the line is all the children from everyone. I think we have authority to pray for all our family. I can not believe I forgot to do this every night. The cares of the world again. 

So today is a new day! Thank God His mercies are new every morning! I have some offenses to face and give to the Lord for healing. I am looking forward to a clean heart. Praise the Lord His Love can do that! I am surprised and ashamed of all that I have let in my heart in the form of offense. I know better. So subtle are the plans of the enemy to undo us and rob our peace! Glory be to God, He is the healer and the heart cleaner upper and mender! If you are in need of a heart mending, I pray for you for courage to let Him in every wounded part and grace to accept His love in them and courage to forgive and let go. Your heart is most precious and He desires it to be full of life, not choked out by offenses and cares of the world. I know this to be true. Be made whole in Jesus Name. God bless you! 

If you would like to be notified when I post new art or stories, Please hit the like button on my page (link in blue) and from that same button, select get notifications. Thank you so much! http://www.facebook.com/Propheticartjustforyou 

My testimony and what happened to Bryan can be found in part one of my blogs here on my website or on this blue link to my Facebook page.  More stories are in comment section of the Lion pic and it can be shared. God bless you!
https://www.facebook.com/Propheticartjustforyou/photos/a.1578421512390604.1073741829.1575572612675494/1578417819057640/?type=1

We learn how to be strong in our battles so we can help others. I share my stories to give hope. After Bryan's accident, it was too much for my husband. He left me. I don't have to tell you the pain that caused, if ever there was a time I needed someone in my life it was then. I stayed strong for Bryan. It is not because I am a strong person, it is just that I had to be strong because of things that happened to me in my life. God taught me how to turn to Him. Part one of my story, I shared about my mom leaving my siblings and I, she just left. You can imagine the sense of abandonment having my husband leave after I was abandoned as a child. There are no words to describe the pain when he left, but I can tell you one thing I did, I told the enemy, you will not break me. I will praise God all the days of my life. On my hardest days, I remember everything I have to be thankful for. On my unbearable days, I remember people are praying for me and I take comfort in that and I tell myself this is but for a season. And on the days I want to die, that is when I just cry and let God comfort me. I had a lot of those days early on.

I stay up all night with Bryan and sometimes in the wee hours despair tries to steal my heart. In regards to Bryan, my heart broke over and over with missing him and waiting on a miracle. It still breaks. It hurts. But in the midst of this pain, God does give me comfort and hope. I keep praying for a miracle. I will never stop. So many people are praying for Bryan right now, any new little thing I see I get all excited. I am thinking he is going to be healed! Two nights ago, I laid hands on him and told him to be healed in Jesus name, he was looking right at me. That has only happened a few times that he locks his eyes right on you. I prayed for quite awhile and hot tears ran down my face, they wouldn't stop! I told God, this is how this thing is suppose to work. You said believers would lay hands on the sick and they would recover, so You have to do this thing. I was serious, this is how it is suppose to work. So, I am am going to continue to believe for it. I keep telling Bryan he will go on missions all around the world like he was called to do. I know his spirit hears me. I also give him prayer request and tell him things you guys say. He has a lot of time in the bed and I am sure he likes things to occupy his thoughts!

I just wanted to say today, our battles give us strength and then we can help others. In part one, I left off where I was 15 years old. I did not share what happened right after that. It got bad. My mom let us know where she was, I went to live with her. She was still doing drugs. There was little food. I went to school, but got out early each day for a work/school program. The first thing I did when I got to work was take a break because we got one free meal. I had not had breakfast or the lunch at school. I was starving. Often that was the only meal I had for the day. And when I was not scheduled to work, there was not much to eat at home. The boss asked me why I took my break right away. I was embarrassed to tell him why, but I did. It was a hard time for me. On two different times there were rape attempts, I got away. I needed my mom. A drug addicted person can not be there for you. But God was there for me. I went into the bathroom, shut the door, got down on my hands and knees and prayed, God help me. I don't want to live like this, I can't take it. I was very, very, sad. I wept bitterly, and then suddenly, a peace came over me like I had never felt before. I know I felt God that day, I felt His Presence in that bathroom. The idea popped in my head to ask my Aunt Harriet if I could come live with her and go to a Christian school. I stood up off my knees. I felt hopeful and purposeful and all the pain was gone. It was just gone. I will never forget that feeling of peace. I visit it often. I asked my Aunt and she said I could live with her. I thank God she and her family opened their hearts and took me in. My life could have gone down a dark path back then. I saw so much ugliness, I did not want it. I have a soft heart. I wanted goodness. I wanted God. He helped me find Him!

To understand the joy I have in the Lord, and how deep His joy goes, in part one I said you would have to know how deep the pain went. Jump back to something that happened as a little girl I did not tell about. I was being a typical kid having been put to bed and sneaking back out because I did not want to go to bed. I was hanging out in the hall. My parents did not see me. I heard my Mother tell my Father she wished I had never been born. I don't remember how I processed that. I remember it hurt. I never forgot it. When I got older I felt so bad for that little girl standing in the hall not knowing what to do. I just wanted to hug her! I confronted my mother in my teens and she denied it. I knew what I heard. In my twenties, she admitted it and said I had been a bad child that day. That sure did not help me feel any better. I was a kid, kids are bad some days, that does not mean you wish they were not born. God took the pain from my heart that my mom did not even know I had. Later in my twenties I learned of scripture that said when your Mother and Father forsake you (a note to my biological Dad, you did not forsake me...just an example of scripture), The Lord will lift you up. I needed that scripture because I needed my Mom and she was not there. Later in life she did get right with the Lord, but not until I was in my thirties. She was still doing drugs and there were the troubles that go with that. Great troubles and sadness.

I will write the next time about how my husband and I got back together because of God's grace and a choice of Love. Sometimes it is not easy. Our family has been through tremendous stress. My husband and I had troubles before Bryan's accident. He is a recovering alcoholic, there were times he was not recovering. Only God can satisfy and give us true happiness and healing. Sometimes we are busy trying to make ourselves feel better with things, with food, with shopping, with TV, and for an addict, with drugs or alcohol. Those things will not take the pain away. It is a hard thing sometimes to say search my heart Lord and if there is anything there that needs to be taken out, take it. And sometimes, the enemy has beaten us down so low, our pain is so deep, we don't know how to feel better so we just keep trying with things that don't work. If you stop your world, drop down on your knees, and say "help me Lord", He will help you. He will help you with every battle you have. He will help with your pain and struggles. He will help your marriage, Just keep looking to Him. If you make a mistake, don't run away in shame, run to Him over and over again. He will give you Hope. Just lay down the things that hurt you at His feet at the cross. Lay it all down and let Him Love you. Call out to Him. He will come. He will love you and give you grace to love others. Your life can change in one prayer. And it can be as simple as Help me Jesus.

You can follow me on my Facebook community page to be notified of future art or stories, just hit the like button on the page and from that same button select get notifications. You can find part one at the bottom of my blog or on lion pic in the comment section of post pinned to the top of my Art page. That Lion pic has all my stories so far inside it and can be shared. I will continue to add stories here and there. Thanks for taking the time to read. I hope my stories and art bless you! Please share if you know someone who would be touched. Thank you so much! God bless!

PART 7: Thanks for liking and sharing Facebook friends. This was a hard story to write. I know this is long but there was a lot to tell. Thanks for reading. The challenges in the hospital when Bryan was fighting for his life stung as I relived it telling the story. The very dangerous conditions of the nursing home almost brings back a panic attack! While Bryan was in the hospital, I never left his side, I just couldn't, except when they asked me to leave the room. Little did I know at the time I would be taking him home and doing everything myself that they did when they asked me to leave the room. The doctors told me Bryan was not going to make it. I sent out an emergency prayer to a friend, Kathie Walters. She posted the request and thousands of people responded with prayers and support from all over the world. To this day they have stood by my family. I had to stop writing a minute to cry. I would not have made it without the prayers and support. I can never put into words the pain, and fear, and panic of seeing my Son fight for his life. All I could do was keep breathing and praying and I rested knowing people were praying. Although I had great fear inside, I gave it to the Lord. His peace was so strong that the room was saturated in it.

The nurses that came into the room felt it. I was told that they felt in in the hall before they even got to the room and that the nurses were talking about it and about me, how they did not know how I could be so calm. They had seen trauma like this and my reaction was not typical. It is because I so fell into God and the room was so covered in prayer, His peace was there. It was tangible. I would have died without it. There was still fear in my heart, but God overrode it with His peace. That peace that passes understanding, it's real!

Bryan was in the intensive care unit for weeks. He was in the hospital for 6 weeks. They moved him from the intensive care unit to a normal floor and he STOPPED BREATHING! He had come out of surgery to have that skin graft done over his hip area where all the skin had been scraped off from where the second vehicle had dragged him across the pavement when they ran over him. His heart rate was through the roof. I had learned to take it and I used it to gauge when he needed pain meds since he could not tell me. I told the nurses he was in pain. I asked them to please give him something. They said they had to get approval from the doctor. I half fussed at them, well, I fussed at them, hurry up and do it then. I sat there rubbing his head trying to soothe him. He started shaking. I called out to the nurse and said, "Do something, NOW!" They left the room to go page the doctor. Then he stopped breathing and I screamed for the nurse, I started praying out loud and I think I half scared the nurse. She hit the code button and started bagging him. She bagged, I prayed. I prayed like crazy! I could see she was scared to death. Suddenly doctors and nurses and all kinds of people flooded the room. It is all kind of a blur now. I stepped back while they did their thing and continued to pray. Bryan started breathing. The one doctor yelled out, did his heart stop? The nurse bagging him said she did not know, she was too busy bagging him. They gave him pain meds and his heart rate came back down. I made sure they stayed on top of keeping him comfortable. No one knows if he died at that moment because they did not know if his heart stopped. But to me, when he stopped breathing, I started praying and calling him back.

At this point there had been so many things that had gone wrong in his care I became a very strong advocate for him. The plastic surgeon even told me they had not done his graft when it should have been done because they were thinking he was going to die and he could not believe they had left him like that. He had a huge gaping wound on his hip for weeks. I might go into later all the mistakes made, but it suffices to say surgeries that were needed were not given, meds that were not suppose to be given to him were given, and some that he should have had were forgotten. I started monitoring every single thing that was bought into the room and I made it known no one was to give my son anything without my approval. I also started giving the meds myself in his tummy tube. I asked them to just leave them on the tray. I did his food, which at the time was formula and a feeding pump. I learned how to work it. Now that he is at home I give him fruits and veggies and all kinds of healthy stuff pureed and put in his tummy tube. I watched them suctioning his trach and sometimes they were to busy to come in and do it, so I just started doing it myself. I started doing everything. I told them I was taking him home. With that said, the wound care nurse came in and taught me how to do his wound care. Up until that time, they had made me leave the room while they did it. It was quite ghastly. The huge gash down his stomach was the worse. It was not stitched together. You could see all the fat and tissue. I was kind of afraid but told myself, suck it up, you are going to do this. And that was that, I did not allow myself to be overwhelmed. I was going to take care of Bryan.

I took him to the nursing home first because of all the open wounds I was afraid of infection. I found out later, home would have been a safer choice. When you have never been exposed to all this, you don't know. The nursing home was a disaster. Bryan is so tall he did not fit the bed. His feet hung off and I had to pad the foot board with diapers. I told them this was not acceptable. I used that word a lot over the next few weeks! I went to suction him because he was choking and the suction machine would not work. Unacceptable! They grabbed another and it did not work. Finally a third one with Bryan now hacking and gagging it finally worked. Excuse me, I realize I am venting a little. It was horrible. Then one day I happen to look at his water bottle and thought, I have never seen anyone change it. I open it up, mold is inside! They have been using the same water cup and never changed it. I was appalled. I had already started doing things at the hospital for Bryan's care. After all that had happened I got to the point I would not let anyone touch Bryan. That may sound crazy of me, but if you had seen all the wrongful care given, you would have done the same! I looked at his trach the one day and got out a little dixie cup and started filling it with all this crusty nasty junk from off the trach underneath where it went into his airway. I was appalled. I asked the head nurse are they cleaning this. Her answer, "they should be". it was her answer to everything! The same thing happened to his tummy tube. I happened to look and see all kinds of puss and yuck where they had not cleaned it underneath the cover. I am a Mom, not a nurse. They were suppose to be doing these things. I had taken over the wound care bravely, but at this point, the trach and tummy tube had been cared for by the health professionals. And to be honest, the trach still freaked me out a little bit. Needless to say, I added it to my list of, "I'll do it."

Bryan ends up having a massive seizure and goes to the hospital by ambulance. I come to find out that when they discharged him from the hospital, they had read his orders wrong and only given him half the dose of his seizure meds. Hence the seizure came on. I begged them to not send him back to that nursing home. I was waiting for approval for a comcare waiver that would pay for supplies and things at home. It had been weeks and I had not heard anything. I was told he had to go back and then I could put in a transfer to another nursing home. I was explaining to the human resources person what had been going on. I mentioned suctioning his trach and it not being cleaned and she asked about them suctioning him. I said they never did, only me. While I am begging....and I can tell you praying!....the ambulance gurney is right outside his door waiting to take him back. The lady comes back and tells me, don't worry, we will not send him back there. They are not even licensed to provide care for a trach patient! I was so relived. So we hang out there at the hospital while we wait for him to get his scull cap put back on.

Back to the prayers being prayed for us. I could not have made it without them. I am not kidding when I talk about all the mismanaged care. I just could not leave Bryan. He would have been dead had I, I just know it. I was told by nurses that exact same thing, the good nurses, and they said it was good I was staying by his side and fighting for him. For months, I slept in cat naps, no solid sleep, at all. Prayers helped me make it. I faced the challenges of everyday head on. He had a lot of complications early on. And on the outside, the situation looked hopeless. It took a lot of courage to face it. Prayers gave me that courage. Prayers are God's strength called down for you. I am so thankful for all the people that prayed. And that still pray! I still have hard days. My family still has hard days. We miss Bryan.

I will make the rest of this story short because there is something God has on my heart to say. We end up getting to go to another nursing home after his skull cap is put back on. Bryan through all this time has been mostly unresponsive. However, before the massive seizure at the other nursing home, when you called his name, he would turn his head. He stopped that after that seizure. He had a couple check ups at the hospital and a Trauma doctor comes in and just wanted to tell me he admired me as a mother. It made me cry inside but I did not let the tears come out. He said whenever he saw that Bryan had been admitted or if he noticed he had an appointment, he always checked to see how he was. He really wanted Bryan to make it. He told me not many moms would do what I had done. I find that hard to believe, I know a lot of Moms who would. When I told him I can't imagine, he said it is like they close down to protect their heart. They stop coming around, it is too painful. I guess having your son lying there fighting for his life and the doctors saying there is no hope could make a person feel that way. Bryan's condition was really bad. It is not like he had his tonsils removed. The situation was dire. But to me, my hope was in God, not what the doctors said.

We spend about 6 weeks at the other nursing home. I take care of him the whole time. Again, prayers from everyone help me get through it. I only went to this nursing home because they said I could stay with my son. I told them I would not leave his side. The administrator comes in one day and tells me because there are other patients in the room now, I have to leave. I tell her I am not leaving. I was quite firm about it. I had learned to be quite firm about a lot of things. If you have a loved one in healthcare, a hospital, a nursing home, be firm with no fear or intimidation about your concerns and if you have any trouble report it, until you are satisfied. Don't just take what seems to be wrong and think there is nothing you can do. You can, make a stink! Anyway, I have been waiting all this time for a comcare waiver to kick in so I can take my son home. I need a hospital bed, nebulizer, humidification, feeding pump, supplies, a ramp to be able to even get him in and out of home! The administrator comes back with two other people, one is a higher up of some sort. I tell them straight up, I came here because you said I could stay with my son. I am not leaving him. If I have to, I will get friends and we will carry him out of here on a sheet and I will take him home and find money to pay for all his medical equipment, I am not leaving him. You can call the police on me or whatever you have to do, but I am not leaving. And I stared her down. She then says insurance will cover the medical things now. I am like, What?!!! I have been waiting all this time for this so I can take him home and you mean to tell me I could have at anytime? I was told later they made a lot of money with Bryan staying there. Alot. No one told me I could leave. Again, when you have never been in this kind of situation, you don't know. I tell her, well discharge him. I want to take him home now! It took a few days to get the insurance in order and the equipment at home. Insurance would not approve a bigger bed so we tie a box on top of it to make it long enough. The bed I would need cost $30.000 I don't have $30,000 so we tie a box! You can see it in the beginning of the comment section of the Lion. It is terrible they don't provide a bed that fits.

So we go home!!! And, it is a good thing I am used to no sleep. The comcare waiver that was suppose to take 3 months, took almost a year. One day I will tell a little about those long days. For now, I don't know how I even did it except for God. Period. I can remember being so tired, I willed my legs to move. Love will empower you to do the impossible. Love, prayers, God, faith, perseverance, courage. I was not going to give up. I will never give up on HOPE. And on believing for a miracle. And uHtil that day, I will be here for my son. He is loved, not only by me, but his family and people everywhere praying for this kid! I say kid because he is the baby of the family. He was 22 when he was hit by the two cars. He just turned 28 on July 28th, 2014. I still have a lot to say about all that we have been through. I just wanted to share some of the medical struggles. The heart struggles were tough and I want to share more later with hopes it will bring hope. Sometimes, that is all you have. But it is enough. Because God will see you through what ever you may face. Never give up.

What was on my heart to write tonight before I got into Bryan's medical story was to pick up where I left off from Part 1, in the Lion picture. I left off where I said I was 15 years old. I was sharing how God had prepared me for what I would face with Bryan's accident and teaching me to turn to Him. While that time frame was going on in my life when I was young, I shared that I had wanted God, not all the bad things and drugs I had seen around me. I had been judged from teachers and friends parents because of my Mom being a drug dealer. Please know His love helped her and later in life she came to know Him and all her relationships were healed. She was blessed, it is never too late! Anyway, I was looked down on. I was talked about. I wrote part 4 (in the comment section of the Lion post -can be found on my Facebook page or further down blog section here) from a place in my heart where Bryan and I had both been. Feeling not good enough, rejected and looked down on. Please read it, it is a good encouragement and please share these stories if you know someone who would be blessed, one of them or the Lion that has all of them.

While I was being looked down on, my friends told me their parents said I was a bad influence and would not let them hang around me. I had not done anything wrong. Remember I wanted to go to church and not be a part of the drug scene? I had straight A's. I was a great sister to the point I was actually the Mom. Yet I did not fit societies prim and proper expectations. Which I shared in part 5 about religions lack of love, which is worse than societies lack of love! Of all things, religion should love, right?! Religion demands though, God loves. I had God kind of love come into my life, just like I shared happened to Bryan in part 4. People were moved by compassion toward me, not everyone judged. I tasted God through these people that loved. I only experienced shame and hurt through the ones that judged.

The youth pastor at my church knew all that was going on in the home. He never said a word about it. He never gave me a list of you should not do this or do that or if you don't stop this you are going to hell. He was there through the whole journey of while I turned my life over to God. Remember I said I did do drugs awhile? He knew that. God was dealing with me about how I should live, God was making me hungry for goodness. I did not need to be told I was going to go to hell if I did not change. I needed a friend, I needed love. This Pastor was one of the most influential persons in my life. He would come by and sit on the porch step with me and talk. He would ask me how I was. If I needed anything. He would tell me God loved me and that he loved me. I felt it. He was real. He was not religious and he was not about building his people church for membership, he was about building a people church of flesh and blood, building God's people, the real Church, not the building. Love is so powerful.

This same Pastor that showed me so much love got kicked out of the church because he got baptized in the Holy Ghost. I went to a Baptist church, they don't believe in that. I was so sad. I did not want to go to the church after that. I already was very sad about the church before that. One of the girls in the church choir had invited a friend to church. The friend she invited was African American. She was told she was not allowed in the church. This is in the South, in North Carolina. I did not know that was said at the time. I found out the following Sunday when the girl from the choir stood up and called the elders in the church a bunch of hypocrites. She said you call yourself a Christian?! She let them have it. I was very young, and I was appalled to hear what had happened. This girl was a senior in high school. She became my hero at that moment. I was so proud of her for speaking out. A little bit of her spirit got into me that day! I did not go back to that church. I went to the high school where my youth Pastor now held church where everyone was invited, no matter of the color of your skin. I needed God in my life. I needed the love. I was still judged, and it still hurt, but I went after God and He sent people to love me.

I spent a lot of my early years trying to earn God's love. I did not know I did not have to earn it. I had no idea what unconditional love looked like. I had seen a lot of conditions put on God's love, including not accepting you into church because of the color of your skin. I was just a kid and I was judged for another;s life style. How mean were the parents of my friends. Instead of reaching out they shunned me. But God, he sent people that loved me. What is happening is, some people are listening to Him, not religion, because He wants us to love. I had this one teacher step in and save the day for me. This is not what you might think of as love, but I still remember her kindness to this day. I had borrowed a cousins gown for prom because I did not have enough money to buy one. This was not my prom year but I had been invited to someones. I smoked pot that night. The gown had a sheer cape that went around it, chiffon or something like that. Pot seeds sometimes burst while you are smoking. They landed on the cape and burnt little holes in the edges. I was so upset and scared and figured I was going to get into a lot of trouble. There was a teacher that had been nice to me. She was the science teacher and home economics. I told her I had accidentally burned it smoking a cigarette. She smiled at me and said a cigarette, huh? I knew she knew it was pot. She said she could fix it for me. She cut it and resewed the edges for me. I needed grace at that time, not a lecture. I loved that lady for helping me. I will never forget her!

I learned so much about love from the sprinklings of a few people scattered throughout my life. I pray you are one of the people that love like that and I pray you have people that love you like that. I still had a lot to learn. I still do. But I can remember way back then still trying to earn God's love. It was not until shortly before Bryan's accident that I learned more about that I did not have to earn God's love. I listened to a teaching from Kathie Walters that helped me wrap my head around the trappings of religion. I will find the link to it and put it in the comment section. It helped me so much. I keep bringing myself around to the heart of a little kid that just knows God loves me. I have learned I do not have to be perfect. I don't mean I go out and act all mean or commit crimes, etc. I mean that my own self judging heart is a little easier on myself and I KNOW HE LOVES ME. I know HE LOVES YOU, TOO! It just is. And people show that love all the time, and if it's judgement you feel, it is religion. God's love brings such comfort. He will convict you if needed, but it is a gentle heart thing that moves you, and He will continue to work on an area if needed. HE SITS WITH YOU ON THE FRONT PORCH AND ASK ARE YOU OK! He is concerned with your heart. His arms are wide open regardless of how messed up your family may look to the world.

I am not telling the story as well as I would like. I don't know how to share how hard I tried to earn God's love and even today I will find myself trying to earn it. I just know he does and I so want to convey that to you, that you don't have to earn it. You are so precious to Him! Whatever you would think that might prevent that love to you, I pray you see it can't. Nothing can keep God's love from you. He is so happy to have you. He is not seeing your mistakes, He is loving you through them. HE CARES. Of all the things I ever learned in my life, learning I did not have to earn God's love was the most important. That opened the floodgate to pass that same love along! God is so good, I pray you taste and see that the LORD IS GOOD. I pray you escape the trappings of religion. God bless you. I will write more later.

I invite you to visit my art page I set up to honor Bryan. www.facebook.com/Propheticartjustforyou. Please remember to hit the like button while there so you can find me again if you want a painting later. You can select get notifications from that same button if you want to be notified of future art or stories. And please share and invite your friends if you know someone who would like it. I hope my paintings are a blessing! Prints and paintings available at www.JustForYouPropheticArt.com  Also if you share these stories on your wall you can find them later. I pray the stories bless you and ask you share them if you know someone who would be touched. Thank you so much. Love, Bryan's Mom (Pam) 

to to read my testimony and part one of Bryan's story, please click this link,  www.pamherrick.com/inspirational-prophetic-art-and-story.html

 PART 49: Season of Dreams, coming to pass. Many years ago, almost thirty, I had a dream in my heart to paint, make jewelry and crafts. And be a missionary. I even went to Bible school for that. The Lord put that same calling on Bryan's heart! This is a little different than I had intended. Turns out I raise money for missions and Bryan does his missions in stories (until his miracle.) It had been almost thirty years that I did not paint until God put it in my heart to do it for missions. Back then, when God first gave me the dream, He even gave me a name to call my Art business, "Just For You". All these years I thought the name was Just For You because I always did custom work. Turns out, the "Just For You", is for Him. I see that now! Just For You Lord, Just For YOU! This is the season of dreams coming to pass (for many.) He is allowing me to speak through painting to share His heart. This is the way he allowed me to be a missionary. Artist preach with every stroke of their paint brush! 

Thirty years ago, about the time I painted the tree that I titled, There Is Always Hope, a prophet came to our church, named John Avanzini. He prophesied over me and said, "God said why do you have your breaks on? I want to bless you, take the brakes off." I remember those words perfectly! He went on to say more, but I forget the rest exactly, but to the effect, I was to do my painting and crafts business. Back then, I was nervous and shy. I did step out after that and named my business Just For You. I even went door to door with a portfolio of my work and had all kinds of orders, but I could not balance family and the work load. And with little kids, I did not have a place to get my paint out. I never fully took off the breaks back then, but I did release them a little to go a wee bit faster! The scared part inside of me that hesitated to step out, trusted God, knowing He would help me when the time came. I probably did not do what I should have back then, but God is the God of second chances and dreams that don't die.

I raised a family and tucked the dreams away in my heart, putting them on hold. I've painted a thousand paintings in my mind, waiting for the day I would have time to put them on canvas. This is that season. I am glad you are in it with me! I know there are many of you awakening to your own dreams. Go ahead, dream with God! It is always a new day with Him and his answers are yes and amen to the dreams he put in your heart!

When Bryan decided to enter the mission field, He actually planned on selling everything he owned and becoming a missionary! Those were his dreams. God put it on my heart at that time to paint to raise money for those missions. Bryan had just helped me make a little gift shop and set up my Art studio. We just got done the night before his accident! The last thing he did was put a light together for me in the shop. It took me five years after his accident to start to write about it. Then the Lord, once again, put it in my heart to paint to raise money for missions. 

This Is dreaming with God for me and for Bryan. Bryan is right by my side while I paint. He is a blessing just having him here! He knows how much I loved to paint, too, and always wanted me to paint again. To do it now, in his honor, is my way to carry on for him and go on with the plans God put in our hearts, me painting, Bryan missions. His stories are like him going on missions all around the world. Check out the Lion post that I share his stories on, it has gone all over the world with stories of God's love, mercy, grace and saving power! It has everything that was in Bryan's heart to share when he decided to be a missionary! By the way, if there are any Artist out there that God has put on your heart to paint, and you have a heart for missions, please join me on this journey. I will share your work on my website, just let me know if you are interested. 

It was a long way to get here, and I wish Bryan was not in the accident, but we go on anyway, and are thankful. "Father God, the brakes are off. Thank you Daddy. I love you!" I say the brakes off because not only am I painting like He put it in my heart to do, but I am going full force to raise money for missions, preach the gospel and make an opportunity for other Artist to do the same. I am sharing for Bryan, too! Artist, Remember I said earlier, we preach with every stroke of our paint brush. 

This has been the longest journey anyone could imagine as a Mom. My heart broke a thousand times and a thousand times God healed it. My hope is in the Lord and I will never give up on believing for a miracle for Bryan. In the meanwhile, I am thankful he is here with me. I love this boy so much! Thank you for all your love, prayers and support for Bryan, myself and our family. 

My testimony (part one) is with the Lion pic at bottom. Just click on pic to read. The horse on this post is the first painting I painted in 2015. Many more to come! I would be so honored if you tell your friends about me. To be notified of new art or stories you can click the like button on top of my art page and from that same button, select get notifications. Art page link: https://www.facebook.com/Propheticartjustforyou Thank you so much! God bless you! Love, Pam, Bryan's Mom!